Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
