Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize