I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
