one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
