i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
