Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
the liver wants what the liver wants
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize