is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
