I smell stomach acid.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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