Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
