I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
