I need help removing her.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
