How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Randomize
