I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So many bounce houses so little time
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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