I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
