She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
