Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
