he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
