he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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