I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
