you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
