Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
