Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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