He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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