Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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