I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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