Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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