its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
