no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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