Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Text me some of your sweat
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
