just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
