My room smells like vodka and shame
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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