The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
