I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize