There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
