biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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