Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
