so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
