Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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