i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
