I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she pinky promised me she was 18
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
