hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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