i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
