My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we made out on top of his cat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize