I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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