You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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