it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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