her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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