She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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