Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
