omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you didnt know i had herpes?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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