So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
