i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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