So drunk, too bad you don't want this
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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