that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
