Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
