I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
