I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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