Do vagina's smell?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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