we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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